Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Mini Review! Subway's #3 Sub on the Menu

Hey guys, this review is truly in the random spirit. As some of you might have seen, i asked my blogs audience to give me some ideas for my upcoming blogs, and one person commented with "next review: #3 on the menu at the closest fast food restaurant." Instantly i thought to myself, "Challenge Accepted." So here it is, the #3 food item at my local...... SUBWAY!

To my disappoint, the #3 sub happens to be the Ham sub. Not that i don't appreciate the direct, simplicity of a Ham sub, it's just that when i go to Subway, i look for something a little more exotic than what i find in my fridge everyday. However with the right mentality, and a sick sandwich artist, you can make this plain bitch into something that will blow your taste buds load. The strategy I'm taking towards making this thing a masterpiece is load it up till its ready to burst. That's right, were making this one hefty little guy. Alright bloggers are you ready? First off you get some Honey Oat bread up on this bitch! FRESH! Once you've acquired the bread you load that lame sub with 2 kinds of cheese.. mofuggin graded.. and some god damned monterey jack! Toss some bacon on it then when you think you're finished put some more on... might as well have the whole pig right? THEN YOU TOAST IT! This step is key.. the cheese must be melted. Now were on to sauces.. for this beauty of a sub were throwing on a hint of mayo, and some southwest saaaaauce. Awwe yeah. Then you toss on some lettuce! Pickles! Green Peppers! Maybe even olives and hot peppers if you're one crazy mother fucker. Use tomatoes at your discretion, i know i would. There you have it, i call it the "I Ain't No Bitch Ham Sub, Sub!" 

Regular without my skills at making a sub it gets 1.5 crusty white bread's out of 5.

With the guidance of moi, this fat bitch gets a dirty 3.5 mouth orgasm's out of 5.

The sub would of scored higher, but there are a lot of better options out there, i apologize to the ham gods. Catch you on the flip side bloggers. Also remember to leave your ideas in the comments below! Who knows, yours might be next! 


  1. Yum. Subway.
    I get some jalapeno bread, some chicken and cheddar cheese, Toast it. Then lettuce, tomatoes, more jalapenos and some mustard. And if ive got just a little extra cash, bacon and avocado.
    Yeahhh. Yeahhhh.
    Hmm. You should review some spam, the 2nd from the back on the shelf at the store.
    Or, Review what ever game system you have.

  2. hey ill have everyone know i myself am a sandwich artist.

  3. Fucking subs are delicious. My personal favorite is either the Meatball Marinara or the Mesquite Chicken.

  4. gotta love subway. great sandwiches

  5. Oh gosh, I'll never think of Subway's ham subs the same way again.

  6. Deadpool really loves his sandwich

  7. In France Subway are really expensive. Food is really expensive in France :(

  8. BMT, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, olives, onions, banana and jalapeño peppers and the Chipotle Southwest sauce. I would recommend it to everyone.